It's not going to work out if....

• He would rather watch TV (Lost in my case) than spend time with you on Valentine's Day
• He ends the first date on a phone call and says "Hold on" to the friend he's talking to
• He is 31 and still acts as if he lives in a frat house
• He cancels a date then says it's back on then cancels again all within few hours
• He smokes pot all day, every day (as much as that's entertaining, it's not relationship-building)
• He doesn't say how amazing you look at least once the first couple times you see him
• He thinks going out once a week is too much
• He says "You wanna split this?" as he looks at the check on the first date
• He wants to meet up after 10pm (can we say booty call!?)
• He texts you for a first date (may sound traditional, but he needs to make the call or do it in-person. You need a man that will take a risk...especially on you).
• He says three weeks into dating you that he is "not emotionally capable of this right now". (What is this? We're three weeks in!)
• He leaves to go pack for a vacation when you're about to have surgery
• He has more than a handful of drinks on your first date
• He doesn't hold the door for you (come on, that should be a no-brainer!)
• He has never lived anywhere besides New York City and thinks there is nothing outside of it
• He is from Staten Island
• He is married
• He just wants to communicate via text, email, or any other online form of communication
• He makes you do anything you don't want to do
• He just sees you for you for "physical fun"
• He lacks normal manners
• He doesn't want to introduce you to any of his friends...ever
• He tries to feel you up during the movies on a first date when you haven't even had a real conversation yet
• He says keeping up with politics or current events isn't really "his thing"
• His name is Anthony (just trust me on this one)
• He says right off the bat that he isn't really looking to date (then it leaves you thinking...why are we on a date then!?)
• He's never willing to watch any sports
• He has any problem you consciously have to try to ignore 

If there is anything you think that's missing from this, please let me know. This is a work-in-progress. I can confidently say I'll be adding to this.