Being on an online dating website, I have noticed trends for men's behaviors. I'm sure it's not just one-sided, but sorry men, I don't have many straight women communicating with me on the site, so please excuse me on this. Men can go through the women by using a helpful "match search" feature on the site, and with that, they are able to look at hundreds of women within minutes. You may think that's not so different than just being out on the street or in a crowded bar in New York, but there's a discrepancy. When you see an intriguing woman at a bar, there isn't a button you can push that will give you her age, what she studied in college, her religion, her politics, her favorite movies, her favorite quotes, her political affiliation....it goes on and on. (I can't believe how much people are willing to divulge on these sites....but that's a whole other topic). Also, when you see that pretty woman at the bar, you have to use your imagination in trying to picture her half-naked. On dating sites, women offer that up in their "picture section". A photo of her at the beach I'm sure she is just dying to put on there because she's wearing a swimsuit from the newest Escada bikini line...we all know men always notice fashion! (I know you've heard your mother say "why buy the cow when you can get the milk for free"....it's' an oldie but a goodie). Once a man sees you in a swimsuit and that you're a Quaker who loves chick flicks and he's a Presbyterian who never misses a Scorsese film (okay, probably not the most common example, but you get the point), then just like that, he could possibly no longer be interested.
When you're online shopping or online dating, you can so easily reject things right off the bat. "I wish those boots were caramel instead of brown"...."I wish that girl liked football!" NEXT! Moving on! It's so easy.
What men also do is develop a cart, just like people do when they shop online. These are the items (or girls) that they are somewhat interested, but not completely ready to buy (or ask out). We, as shoppers, may go back a few times and look at the product to see if we think the price is good and that it's made well. The guy will message the girl and participate in small talk. What the determining factor is on whether to buy or ask out can be different for everyone. The point is that it can be one little thing that might turn a person away. Should we all be so quick to judge!? How can we tell if a pair of brown boots will look just as good or that a girl could develop a liking for football? The truth is that the cart is a great thing for material items. I am guilty of using it and I think to myself "I'll come back to this site in two days and buy those shoes if I still am thinking about them". And I usually never do. When we develop the same behaviors for people, is when it becomes a problem. Some men put you in their cart and then days later forget about you, for a reason you'll never understand. It's as if you had a very short cyber affair. You flirted, you conversed, and that was it. We all need to give people more of a chance or we shouldn't put them in our "cart". Does anyone ever really know if they can hit it off with someone based on some general facts and a handful of pictures? Online dating has allowed people to never feel satisfied nor feel like a person is just right. Well guess what? The great difference between online dating and online shopping is you can take that risk and go out with her....and you don't even have to pay shipping and handling to exchange it for another.
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